The Blanket

I wrote the following post on November 27, 2008. That was over two years ago, and though my writing style isn't very good right now, it was much less so then. I didn't edit the post except a few of the worse grammar mistakes. I think part of the reason I didn't publish it then was because I realized I'd worded things oddly and maybe a bit extremely in places.



Every Christmas my family has a gift exchange and last Christmas my sister brought a really nice fleece blanket.
Of course, I really wanted it and when I didn't get it in the gift exchange I went about trying to trade the cheese I'd received for the blanket my cousin got.
This was very selfish of me because Ik new he would just give the cheese to someone else because he doesn't eat cheese, but I was so intent on what I wanted that I went about getting it to the disregard of others.
So he thought about it and ended up giving it to me a bit later, When we headed home I saw that mom had the cheese and found out shed traded my cousin the cheese for her hardware store gift certificate, it was then that I first saw how selfish I'd been in getting the blanket.

I rarely used the blanket because whenever I thought of it I felt awful, and so it pretty much just sat under my bed until the next time I saw my cousin, which was Easter.
But I didn't talk to him about the blanket that day, because I wanted to wash it first since I'd let the cats get on it, and because I wasn't about to do it behind Mom's back and I didn't want to admit to anyone how selfish I'd been.

I didn't see my cousin again until this Thanksgiving. So I started by getting Mom's approval of me giving the blanket back (on the grounds that I felt I had obtained it selfishly), then I washed it. I tried to give it back on to him when he was on his way out so that I'd be outside where nobody else would see us and find out about my unthoughtful deed, but he made me go back inside with him where there was light and people.
So I told him my story and told him why I wanted to offer the blanket back to him. He gave me his side of the story, which was this: He got the blanket in the gift exchange but didn't actually want it, so he traded the blanket for my cheese (also something he didn't want), then traded the cheese for mom's gift certificate (which to him had more value than the other things.)

That's the story of the blanket for you. Mom, as far as I know, was happy with the cheese; my cousin was happy with the gift certificate; and I was unhappy for eleven months because I didn't resolve my sins of selfishness and unthoughtfulness.
I see it as God's way of teaching me to be selfless and to resolve any wrong deeds I've done against another person.
I think that's pretty amazing.

Fake Humor

I was washing dishes as Pinky (8) dried them. We're chatting, and after we've been working for a bit she says "I'm doing a lot of fake humor tonight." "what's fake humor?" I wanted to know. "When you pretend you're having a sense of humor but you aren't really. Like when you say things that aren't funny but you pretend they are and do a fake-y laugh. Like (insert wheezing, fake laughter here)"

Poetry

Beauty is the color of grass after rain,
A kitten's soft fur on your face.
It's the smell of Spearmint gum,
The rhythm of making lace.


'Beauty's in the eye of the beholder'
People often remark;
But it's more than the eye, it's the mind,
For there's beauty even in dark.


We like to take life for granted,
And begin to complain at our ease.
Without ever realizing,
That we're ingrates for it to not please.


(dedicated to Zion Soles)
We tend to get bogged down by troubles
Which, if they were thrown in a heap
With all those of others around us,
We'd be only too eager to keep.


Why, when we have a trial,
Do we try to get through it alone,
When we've found out before that we can't;
We must lean on our Christ, Cornerstone?



I wrote this 7 months ago ...was so proud of it lol, had thought it quite good. Then I stashed it away and just rediscovered it. It's mediocre, but I enjoyed writing it; next time I dabble with poetry maybe it will be slightly better.

Thoughts About Thought

This little book is full of jewels, I've highlighted my favorite parts of this passage. I was originally planning only to post those parts, but it was all so good I had to show the whole section.



There are not so many hours in a year as thoughts in an hour. Thoughts fly in flocks, like starlings, and swarm like bees. Like the leaves in autumn, there is no counting them; like links in a chain, one draws on another. What a restless being man is! His thoughts dance up and down like midges in a summer's evening. Like a clock full of wheels, with the pendulum in full swing, his mind moves as fast as time flies. This makes thinking such an important business. Many littles make much; so many light thoughts make a great weight of sin. A grain of sand is light enough, but Solomon tells us that a heap of sand is heavy. Where there are so many children the mother had need look well after them. We ought to mind our thoughts. If they turn out to be our enemies, they will be too many for us, and will drag us down to ruin. Thoughts from Heaven, like birds in spring, will fill our souls with music; but thoughts of evil will sting us like vipers.
There is a notion abroad that thought is free; but I remember reading, that although thoughts are toll-free, they are not Hell-free. That saying quite agrees with the good old Book. We cannot be summoned before an earthly court for thinking; but depend upon it we shall have to be tried for it in the Last Assizes. Evil thoughts are the marrow of sin; the malt that sin is brewed from; the tinder which catches the sparks of the devil's temptations! the churn in which the milk of imagination is churned into purpose and plan; the nest in which all evil birds lay their eggs. As sure as fire burns brushwood as well as logs, God will punish thoughts of sin as well as deeds of sin.
Let no one suppose that thoughts are not known to the Lord. He has a window into the closest closet of the soul; a window to which there are no shutters. As we watch bees in a glass hive, so does the eye of the Lord see us. The Bible says, "Hell and destruction are before the Lord: how much more then the hearts of the children of men?" Man is all outside to God. With Heaven there are no secrets. That which is done in the private chamber of the heart is as public as the streets before the all-seeing eye.
Some will say they cannot help having bad thoughts; that may be, but the question is, do they hate them or not? We cannot keep thieves from looking in at our windows, but if we open our doors to them, and receive them joyfully, we are as bad as they. We cannot help the birds flying over our heads; but we may keep them from building their nests in our hair. Vain thoughts will knock at the door, but we must not open to them. Though sinful thoughts rise, they must not reign. He who turns a morsel over and over in his mouth, does so because he likes the flavor. He who meditates upon evil, loves it, and is ripe to commit it. Think of the Devil, and he will appear; turn your thoughts toward sin, and your hands will soon follow. Snails leave their slime behind them, and so do vain thoughts. An arrow may fly through the air, and leave no trace; but an ill thought always leaves a trail like a serpent. Where there is much traffic of bad thinking, there will be much mire and dirt. Every wave of wicked thought adds something to the corruption which rots upon the shore of life. It is dreadful to think, that a vile imagination, once indulged, gets the key of our minds, and can get in again very easily. Whether we will or no, it can so return as to bring seven other spirits with it more wicked than itself; and what may follow, no one knows. Nurse sin on the knees of thought, and it will grow into a giant. Dip tow in naphtha, and how it will blaze when fire gets to it! Lay a man asoak in depraved thought, and he is ready to flame up into open sin as soon as ever opportunity occurs. This shows us the wisdom of watching, every day, the thoughts and imaginations of our hearts. Good thoughts are blessed guests, and should be heartily welcomed, well fed, and much sought after. Like rose leaves, they give out a sweet smell if laid up in the jar of memory. They cannot be too much cultivated; they are a crop which enriches the soil. As the hen broods her chickens under her wings, so should we cherish all holy thoughts. As the poor man's ewe lamb ate of his own bread and lay in his bosom, even so should godly meditation be very dear to us. Holy thoughts breed holy words and holy actions, and are hopeful evidences of a renewed heart. Who would not have them? To keep chaff out of a bushel, one sure plan is to fill it full of wheat. To keep out vain thoughts, it is wise and prudent to have the mind stored with choice subjects for meditation; these are easy to find, and we should never be without them. May we all be able to say with David, "In the multitude of my thoughts within me, thy comforts delight my soul."

Taken from John Ploughman's Talk by C. H. Spurgeon