The Room

I read this story a number of years ago in I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris.
I found the video earlier today, while looking for the story, and decided to include it, although I think the text version of the story is much better than the video.



The Room by Joshua Harris

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features save for the one wall covered with small index-card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endlessly in either direction, had very different headings. As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I Have Liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one.

And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match.

Written In

It's been said that Yuri Gagarin, the first Soviet cosmonaut, when back on earth after orbiting in space said of his experience, "I looked and looked but I didn't see God." (It's disputed as to whether or not he actually said that.)

It's also said that C. S. Lewis said Gagarin's statement is like Hamlet going up to the attic to look for Shakespeare. They're different dimensions.

There's only one way Hamlet could meet Shakespeare...if Shakespeare had written himself into the story. In the same way, the only way we can know God is because He chose to write Himself into the story - to reveal Himself to us.

Life Contemplations

I wish I would make time to post on here more often. Unfortunately, my blog is near the bottom of my day-to-day priority list.

I work anywhere from 20-70 hours a week all Summer, and I'm supposed to be doing school full-time as well (which isn't even close to happening.) So blogging, as much as I'd love to do it more often, just likely won't happen any more than it has been.



I've been contemplating my life. It's so easy to imagine living a model Christian life, but when it comes to living it, it's so much easier to stay in that comfortable hole of apathetic mediocrity.

Sometimes I get sermon podcasts on my iPod. I've especially liked Paul Washer, Breakaway Ministries (Ben Stewart), Mars Hill (Mark Driskoll). I'll go a week listening to the podcasts every chance I get. I build up a spiritual high, and I'm so excited by what I learn and feel. I just feel like I've taken in so much life-changing wisdom. I want to share it with all the Christians I know, so they can experience this life-changing wisdom as well.

...Only see, my life doesn't change. It's easy to think about how I'm going to live this model Christian life, but actually living it takes discipline and self-denial. It also takes much more than just trying to be different -better- than before. Change is short-term if you try to live on your own strength. God needs to empower you to change, and He needs to support you through your day-to-day life.

So I'm not going to try to make everyone I know go listen to those sermons. Instead, I'm going to pray that God would make the teachings I've filled my mind with come to fruition in my life. That the Holy Spirit would manifest itself in my life more and more. That I would show how well what I'm selling actually works.


I'm afraid my thoughts are pretty disconnected and my presentation of them is rough and unpolished, but it's nearly midnight and I've found I don't function very well without a reasonable amount of sleep. I suppose I could post this another day, after I've done some finishing work, but I know I'll never get around to it, so this is how I'm going to leave it.

Book: When Helping Hurts

I'm reading a book titled When Helping Hurts: How To Alleviate Poverty Without Hurting The Poor...And Yourself by Steve Corbett and Brian Fikkert.

Mom is having me read it before I go on a mission trip with my youth group.

I've not gotten very far into it (still on chapter one) but it promises to be good, and I'll likely lend it to the youth pastor and his wife after the trip.

A summary of today's Biology text with a few excerpts - Crayfish and Spiders

Every time I read in my biology textbook I'm awed that not everyone acknowledges God. Of course, not everyone reads my biology textbook, but still!

Today I learned about crayfish (representing all crustaceans) and spiders.

Crayfish have open circulatory systems. In other words, their short blood vessels just end and let blood pour our directly onto all the cells in their body. It's the most efficient circulatory system in Creation. It's only possible if a hard outer covering exists though (i.e. an exoskeleton or shell). Sometimes they lose a leg or antenna or claw in a fight, and you'd think they'd bleed to death, but they have a double membrane in each appendage, which means a membrane seals the opening in such a case, and the appendage regenerates!

Spiders spin webs, as everyone knows. But did you know a rope weaved of spider silk would be stronger than the strongest steel pipe yet almost as flexible as a normal rope? "In physics research, scientists are trying to develop a process called 'laser-induced nuclear fusion.' If it could ever be developed, it would result in a limitless, nuclear reaction that turns hydrogen into helium. This is a violent reaction but, when done on a tiny sample, it is controllable, provided the sample is held in a very strong, very flexible container." They've found no better material to use for these containers than spider silk.

There are spiders that make sheet webs, ones that make tangle webs, ones that make orb webs, ones that make trapdoors, and ones that make long sticky threads that they launch at their prey then reel back in.

"Now think about this for a moment. Consider the fact that spider silk is a marvelous material which 3,000 years of human science cannot even come close to manufacturing... As you study more and more science, you will see these kinds of engineering marvels exist all over Creation,... Through examples such as this one, we know that life is no accident. Such incredible systems cannot develop by chance. Clearly, Creation tells us what an awesome God we have!"

Excerpts are taken from J L. Wile and Marilyn F. Durnell's Exploring Creation with Biology, Module 12

Why is history class so boring?

An excerpt from Stephen Mansfield's More Than Dates & Dead People. He's explaining why history as taught in the classroom is so hated and monotonous, yet people like history (as shown by their interest in historical fiction, historical films, history channel, historical landmarks, etc.).

"...When you study history in a typical school today, the books you read, the lectures you hear, and the conclusions you're supposed to make are all conditioned by a certain philosophy. The people who write those books and plan your studies design what you are supposed to learn according to a certain set of principles, a certain view of the world. And that view is rooted in the philosophy of evolution...
Let's think about it. What does evolution teach? Evolution is the idea that life happened accidentally. Supposedly, the accidental mixing of some biological goo billions of years ago gave birth to the first living cell. In time, that cell grew into a critter. I won't bore you with technical language. Then, there were suddenly lots and lots of critters. In time, those critters eventually grew into man-like critters - namely, monkeys and apes - and eventually into cappuccino drinking, cell phone-toting, city-dwellers.
Ah, but lets think about what this means to our experience in the House of Historical Horrors. In other words, what does believing in evolution mean for the study of history?
First, according to evolutionary theory, all of life is an accident. There is no design or purpose. Everything just is - with no meaning, no pattern, no destination. Everything is random.
Secondly, notice that according to evolution, everything is growing from the very simple to increasingly complex - from the outdated to the new and improved. This means that what is old is not as good as what is new. Old is simple and goofy, while new is shiny and sophisticated. This means that the past is less important than today, and today will be less important than tomorrow.
Well, no wonder history class is so boring! If evolution provides the philosophy we use to understand the past (and it does, because evolution is the official public school explanation for what exists), then it only makes sense that history is going to seem like a silly thing to learn."

Happy Anniversary, Grandpa!

My grandpa went to live with Jesus seven years ago yesterday.

He was a devout Catholic his whole life, but became a Christian in the weeks before he died. In those weeks, he would gather all his children and grandchildren around him and talk to us all. Basically telling of life lessons he'd learned, of things he thought important to pass on. I don't remember most of it; I was 10 and I was for the most part oblivious to the more serious things that took place.

He had cancer for (I think) around 15 years. I'd say he lost the battle 7 years ago, but did he really? Yes, cancer is a terrible, painful disease. Yes, Grandpa died of it. But I see it as his ride to Heaven. We all have to die somehow, sometime. It's inevitable. Some people go to they're eternal home painlessly and some have a long, torturous journey to make. Grandpa had an uncomfortable ride, but what does that matter? He's in Heaven!!

What would be the use of a quiet, painless death if you're on the express lane to an eternal pit of misery? I cannot imagine the hopelessness and despair I would feel if I or a loved one was staring death in the face and I didn't have Jesus to comfort me.


Romans 10:9-13 If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by confessing with your mouth that you are saved. As the Scriptures tell us, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced.” Jew and Gentile are the same in this respect. They have the same Lord, who gives generously to all who call on him. For “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”


Praise God, for He is wonderful.

April Fools!

Here are some of my favorite pranks from a list I found several years ago. The truth is, nearly every joke on here (at least the first 40 or so) are pretty hilarious.

#7: Alabama Changes the Value of Pi

1998: The April 1998 issue of the New Mexicans for Science and Reason newsletter contained an article claiming that the Alabama state legislature had voted to change the value of the mathematical constant pi from 3.14159 to the 'Biblical value' of 3.0. Soon the article made its way onto the internet, and then it rapidly spread around the world, forwarded by email. It only became apparent how far the article had spread when the Alabama legislature began receiving hundreds of calls from people protesting the legislation. The original article, which was intended as a parody of legislative attempts to circumscribe the teaching of evolution, was written by physicist Mark Boslough.

#15: Metric Time

1975: Australia's This Day Tonight news program revealed that the country would soon be converting to "metric time." Under the new system there would be 100 seconds to the minute, 100 minutes to the hour, and 20-hour days. Furthermore, seconds would become millidays, minutes become centidays, and hours become decidays. The report included an interview with Deputy Premier Des Corcoran who praised the new time system. The Adelaide townhall was even shown sporting a new 10-hour metric clock face. The thumbnail (found at TelevisionAU.com) shows TDT Adelaide reporter Nigel Starck posing with a smaller metric clock. TDT received numerous calls from viewers who fell for the hoax. One frustrated viewer wanted to know how he could convert his newly purchased digital clock to metric time.

#29: New Zealand Wasp Swarm

In 1949 Phil Shone, a New Zealand deejay for radio station 1ZB, announced to his listeners that a mile-wide wasp swarm was headed towards Auckland. He urged them to take a variety of steps to protect themselves and their homes from the winged menace. For instance, he suggested that they wear their socks over their trousers when they left for work, and that they leave honey-smeared traps outside their doors. Hundreds of people dutifully heeded his advice, until he finally admitted that it had all been a joke. The New Zealand Broadcasting Service was not amused by Shone's prank. Its director, Professor James Shelley, denounced the hoax on the grounds that it undermined the rules of proper broadcasting. From then on, a memo was sent out each year before April Fool's Day reminding New Zealand radio stations of their obligation to report the truth, and nothing but the truth.

Hackers don't have to die after all

So, B, my friendly Facebook hacker, mentioned that rather than go through the bother of figuring out the scanner (which I still haven't, although I did get a second printer up and running so yay for that), just take a picture with a digital camera and upload it. Brilliance!! The thought had crossed my mind momentarily but I'd dismissed and forgotten it.
See, I own a digital camera as do Mom and dad. Unfortunately both are broken. Mom's won't even turn on, and the display screen on mine doesn't show anything but green streaks on a black and white background although it technically still takes pictures. So I tried taking pictures of my license, but the flash bleached everything out, and since the screen doesn't work, I couldn't see to turn the flash off. I had an idea maybe I could take a movie of my license to eliminate flash, then select one screen once I got it onto the computer. I had a fun time figuring out how to take a screenshot of the frame I wanted, and editing it to my satisfaction. However, it's all done now. I've sent my 'picture of a government issued identification card' to facebook and am now just waiting for a response and a password reset code or some such.

Death to All Hackers!

I got home at about 11 pm last night and did a routine facebook/email check before bed. Turns out my facebook had been hacked while I was in town, so I had warning emails from facebook saying someone accessed my account by correctly guessing the answer my security question ('What street did you live on when you were 8?' How much more naive could I have been? Everyone knows that!) and they'd changed my password. I freaked out and accepted facebook's idea that I could lock my account from all access until I get it cleared up and have control over it again. A few screens later they tell me to send them a picture of a government-issued ID (with personal things like ssn blacked out) and they can verify it's mine and not the hacker's.
Unfortunately my scanner isn't set up. So I have to wait 20 minutes today to install the printer/scanner driver, so I can set the printer/scanner up, so I can scan my driver's license, so I can sent it to facebook, so they can put my case in a queue with everyone else's issues, and eventually give me access to my account.

Turns out the hacker is my friend Nobody. All this hassle isn't his fault though. I was tired last night and freaked out and made much work for myself by locking the account up.

I just looked and the driver is downloaded so I can install the printer now. Guess that means this post is over.

Divorce & Remarriage: A Position Paper

Very long, but so good.


Divorce & Remarriage: A Position Paper

Eleven Reasons Why I Believe All Remarriage After Divorce Is Prohibited While Both Spouses Are Alive

1. Luke 16:18 calls all remarriage after divorce adultery.

Luke 16:18: Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.

1.1 This verse shows that Jesus does not recognize divorce as terminating a marriage in God's sight. The reason a second marriage is called adultery is because the first one is considered to still be valid. So Jesus is taking a stand against the Jewish culture in which all divorce was considered to carry with it the right of remarriage.

1.2 The second half of the verse shows that not merely the divorcing man is guilty of adultery when he remarries, but also any man who marries a divorced woman.

1.3 Since there are no exceptions mentioned in the verse, and since Jesus is clearly rejecting the common cultural conception of divorce as including the right of remarriage, the first readers of this gospel would have been hard-put to argue for any exceptions on the basis that Jesus shared the cultural assumption that divorce for unfaithfulness or desertion freed a spouse for remarriage. (...Read more.)

Praise God

God fills me with awe. I feel overwhelmingly thankful today for His love and mercy. I could be a very different person than I am, but he never let me go even when I shoved Him away. I'm thankful for the many blessings God's given me.

I have parents who both work overtime:
Mom does well juggling everything she's involved in. She always has some pressing matter or other to attend to in politics, and she has so much on her mind always. She finds time to teach her children and keep her home together though. She has such a store of wisdom and godly counsel, and she doesn't hesitate to pause in a hectic day to give it to those who seek it, or to minister in some way to someone in need of help.
Dad doesn't see his job as just money. He's always on duty, willing to get up in the middle of the night to go fix a truck that's broken down on the road. Rather than seeing how he can get out of jobs and earn more money while doing less to deserve it, he's always looking for ways to be more efficient, save money, and expand his knowledge. He's slow to get angry.
Mom and Dad recognize love is a commitment, a choice. And they've made that choice. I've never heard them yell at each other, and they're dedicated to raising their children up to be godly men and women.

My little sisters constantly surprise me with little spontaneous outbursts of generosity and thoughtfulness.

Nearly three years ago I became involved in a youth group made up of great teens who want to serve the Lord. The Youth Pastor is full of desire to minister to the kids, and time and again delivers really convicting messages.

For over a year, we've been attending a little church full of wonderful, encouraging people. The church body is like a tight-knit family. In the last few weeks, as I've mentioned my desire to start something for the youth (the men have a bible study, the women have a bible study, but the teens have nothing,) I've found that many of the other kids want to as well as do many parents.

I have faithful friends who have shown me much grace in light of my neglect of our friendships.

I have a well-paying, full-time job a few months of every year. And various babysitting, petsitting, gopher runs, etc. the rest of the year.

I have a beautiful viola and an even more beautiful violin, and I know how to play both, because of four years' teaching by a skilled lady who knows her stuff and how to teach what she knows.

I have many memories of fun times with my two older siblings, who, although they've both moved out, are still nearby.

I have a house with electricity in it, a bed with clean sheets on it, clean water to drink and wash with, an abundance of food, books for pleasure and education, technology for education and pleasure, a car to drive here and there.

Sights, smells, tastes, textures, sounds, that are so pleasing to the senses. They cry out of the wisdom of their Creator. God fashioned so much beauty out of nothing.

I have a new desire to read my Bible in the last couple weeks. Not just a desire to be able to check it off my to-do list, but a desire to read it because of it's content. Praise God! This is such a new and wonderful thing.

I'm just overflowing with praise and thanksgiving tonight. But why shouldn't I be? Actually, it seems to me this should be my usual state of mind.

Altitude Change

Summer of '09, my sister and her then fiance came out to help us with yard/outside work in preparation for their wedding reception.
a bare wall on the outside of the back porch.
I was on a stepladder with a roller, and commented that if I bent down I got a headache, and if I stood up straight I got a headache. (I get headaches from bending over, I guess from the blood draining to my head. And the afternoon sun shone over the roof into my eyes when I stood up straight.)
My now brother-in-law's response:
"it's from the altitude change."
(I was 5'8" then, at age 14)

I was amused. Still am.

The Blanket

I wrote the following post on November 27, 2008. That was over two years ago, and though my writing style isn't very good right now, it was much less so then. I didn't edit the post except a few of the worse grammar mistakes. I think part of the reason I didn't publish it then was because I realized I'd worded things oddly and maybe a bit extremely in places.



Every Christmas my family has a gift exchange and last Christmas my sister brought a really nice fleece blanket.
Of course, I really wanted it and when I didn't get it in the gift exchange I went about trying to trade the cheese I'd received for the blanket my cousin got.
This was very selfish of me because Ik new he would just give the cheese to someone else because he doesn't eat cheese, but I was so intent on what I wanted that I went about getting it to the disregard of others.
So he thought about it and ended up giving it to me a bit later, When we headed home I saw that mom had the cheese and found out shed traded my cousin the cheese for her hardware store gift certificate, it was then that I first saw how selfish I'd been in getting the blanket.

I rarely used the blanket because whenever I thought of it I felt awful, and so it pretty much just sat under my bed until the next time I saw my cousin, which was Easter.
But I didn't talk to him about the blanket that day, because I wanted to wash it first since I'd let the cats get on it, and because I wasn't about to do it behind Mom's back and I didn't want to admit to anyone how selfish I'd been.

I didn't see my cousin again until this Thanksgiving. So I started by getting Mom's approval of me giving the blanket back (on the grounds that I felt I had obtained it selfishly), then I washed it. I tried to give it back on to him when he was on his way out so that I'd be outside where nobody else would see us and find out about my unthoughtful deed, but he made me go back inside with him where there was light and people.
So I told him my story and told him why I wanted to offer the blanket back to him. He gave me his side of the story, which was this: He got the blanket in the gift exchange but didn't actually want it, so he traded the blanket for my cheese (also something he didn't want), then traded the cheese for mom's gift certificate (which to him had more value than the other things.)

That's the story of the blanket for you. Mom, as far as I know, was happy with the cheese; my cousin was happy with the gift certificate; and I was unhappy for eleven months because I didn't resolve my sins of selfishness and unthoughtfulness.
I see it as God's way of teaching me to be selfless and to resolve any wrong deeds I've done against another person.
I think that's pretty amazing.

Fake Humor

I was washing dishes as Pinky (8) dried them. We're chatting, and after we've been working for a bit she says "I'm doing a lot of fake humor tonight." "what's fake humor?" I wanted to know. "When you pretend you're having a sense of humor but you aren't really. Like when you say things that aren't funny but you pretend they are and do a fake-y laugh. Like (insert wheezing, fake laughter here)"

Poetry

Beauty is the color of grass after rain,
A kitten's soft fur on your face.
It's the smell of Spearmint gum,
The rhythm of making lace.


'Beauty's in the eye of the beholder'
People often remark;
But it's more than the eye, it's the mind,
For there's beauty even in dark.


We like to take life for granted,
And begin to complain at our ease.
Without ever realizing,
That we're ingrates for it to not please.


(dedicated to Zion Soles)
We tend to get bogged down by troubles
Which, if they were thrown in a heap
With all those of others around us,
We'd be only too eager to keep.


Why, when we have a trial,
Do we try to get through it alone,
When we've found out before that we can't;
We must lean on our Christ, Cornerstone?



I wrote this 7 months ago ...was so proud of it lol, had thought it quite good. Then I stashed it away and just rediscovered it. It's mediocre, but I enjoyed writing it; next time I dabble with poetry maybe it will be slightly better.

Thoughts About Thought

This little book is full of jewels, I've highlighted my favorite parts of this passage. I was originally planning only to post those parts, but it was all so good I had to show the whole section.



There are not so many hours in a year as thoughts in an hour. Thoughts fly in flocks, like starlings, and swarm like bees. Like the leaves in autumn, there is no counting them; like links in a chain, one draws on another. What a restless being man is! His thoughts dance up and down like midges in a summer's evening. Like a clock full of wheels, with the pendulum in full swing, his mind moves as fast as time flies. This makes thinking such an important business. Many littles make much; so many light thoughts make a great weight of sin. A grain of sand is light enough, but Solomon tells us that a heap of sand is heavy. Where there are so many children the mother had need look well after them. We ought to mind our thoughts. If they turn out to be our enemies, they will be too many for us, and will drag us down to ruin. Thoughts from Heaven, like birds in spring, will fill our souls with music; but thoughts of evil will sting us like vipers.
There is a notion abroad that thought is free; but I remember reading, that although thoughts are toll-free, they are not Hell-free. That saying quite agrees with the good old Book. We cannot be summoned before an earthly court for thinking; but depend upon it we shall have to be tried for it in the Last Assizes. Evil thoughts are the marrow of sin; the malt that sin is brewed from; the tinder which catches the sparks of the devil's temptations! the churn in which the milk of imagination is churned into purpose and plan; the nest in which all evil birds lay their eggs. As sure as fire burns brushwood as well as logs, God will punish thoughts of sin as well as deeds of sin.
Let no one suppose that thoughts are not known to the Lord. He has a window into the closest closet of the soul; a window to which there are no shutters. As we watch bees in a glass hive, so does the eye of the Lord see us. The Bible says, "Hell and destruction are before the Lord: how much more then the hearts of the children of men?" Man is all outside to God. With Heaven there are no secrets. That which is done in the private chamber of the heart is as public as the streets before the all-seeing eye.
Some will say they cannot help having bad thoughts; that may be, but the question is, do they hate them or not? We cannot keep thieves from looking in at our windows, but if we open our doors to them, and receive them joyfully, we are as bad as they. We cannot help the birds flying over our heads; but we may keep them from building their nests in our hair. Vain thoughts will knock at the door, but we must not open to them. Though sinful thoughts rise, they must not reign. He who turns a morsel over and over in his mouth, does so because he likes the flavor. He who meditates upon evil, loves it, and is ripe to commit it. Think of the Devil, and he will appear; turn your thoughts toward sin, and your hands will soon follow. Snails leave their slime behind them, and so do vain thoughts. An arrow may fly through the air, and leave no trace; but an ill thought always leaves a trail like a serpent. Where there is much traffic of bad thinking, there will be much mire and dirt. Every wave of wicked thought adds something to the corruption which rots upon the shore of life. It is dreadful to think, that a vile imagination, once indulged, gets the key of our minds, and can get in again very easily. Whether we will or no, it can so return as to bring seven other spirits with it more wicked than itself; and what may follow, no one knows. Nurse sin on the knees of thought, and it will grow into a giant. Dip tow in naphtha, and how it will blaze when fire gets to it! Lay a man asoak in depraved thought, and he is ready to flame up into open sin as soon as ever opportunity occurs. This shows us the wisdom of watching, every day, the thoughts and imaginations of our hearts. Good thoughts are blessed guests, and should be heartily welcomed, well fed, and much sought after. Like rose leaves, they give out a sweet smell if laid up in the jar of memory. They cannot be too much cultivated; they are a crop which enriches the soil. As the hen broods her chickens under her wings, so should we cherish all holy thoughts. As the poor man's ewe lamb ate of his own bread and lay in his bosom, even so should godly meditation be very dear to us. Holy thoughts breed holy words and holy actions, and are hopeful evidences of a renewed heart. Who would not have them? To keep chaff out of a bushel, one sure plan is to fill it full of wheat. To keep out vain thoughts, it is wise and prudent to have the mind stored with choice subjects for meditation; these are easy to find, and we should never be without them. May we all be able to say with David, "In the multitude of my thoughts within me, thy comforts delight my soul."

Taken from John Ploughman's Talk by C. H. Spurgeon

Redeemed for What?

I ran across this post last Fall, and have been planning on sharing it here ever since.
I'd half forgotten about it until we started a new Bible reading plan with the new year, and I read Genesis and Exodus and began to ponder the symbolism Chris talks about in here.


Redeemed for What?
"I was reading the Exodus story in the past couple days, and was struck by a few things that I want to share here.

The story of the deliverance of Israel from Pharaoh is a type for the deliverance of the Church from sin and death. God comes to redeem His people, his chosen ones, and to bring them into a land flowing with milk and honey. But as we read Exodus, we find that God early on gives a specific purpose for Israel to leave Egypt...." Continue reading